Monday, November 26, 2018

This 3-Second Trick Will Save You From Saying Something You’ll Regret

We get worked up and say something we wish we hadn’t. Now we’re filled with regret and left picking up the pieces on a situation that could have been avoided.
When things get heated, it’s all too easy to say something you’ll regret, hurting someone you love or causing a division among colleagues that really never had to happen in the first place.
People always tell you to think before you speak. And, sure, it works sometimes. But for the most part, it’s an unrealistic suggestion that is far easier said than done.
But that’s mostly because we don’t know what to think about. So, we often end up just mulling over our anger and making it worse.
I regret things all the time. I’ve never regretted not saying something. I’ve only regretted saying something.
– Chrissy Teigen
Instead of eating your words, use this simple trick to save you from saying something you’ll regret:

Craig Ferguson’s “3-second trick”

As unexpected as it might be, this simple trick comes from none other than comedian and former late-night host Craig Ferguson.
Ferguson says that there are three questions you need to ask before saying something you might regret:
  • Does this need to be said?
  • Does this need to be said by me?
  • Does this need to be said by me now?
The questions might appear simplistic but the more you think about and apply them, it becomes obvious that their simplicity is their very genius.
This strikes to the heart of three basic assumptions we make in virtually every conversation. Often, we’re so consumed with what we want to express that we don’t think about the fact that something can be held back and actually help the conversation.
Not everything has to be expressed, especially when you get worked up and might end up saying something you don’t mean, which is really where the first question comes in.
Do you really need to tell them they’re a screw-up? No, you don’t truly think that, you just want to hit them with something because of the pain they’ve caused you in the past five minutes. Stop before you say something you’ll regret.
Or do you really need to complain about what happened in that meeting? Is it possible the criticism isn’t warranted and it was just your interpretation?
And for the second question, do you need to be the one to tell them they might be in the wrong job? Maybe you can talk to their best friend and convince them to have a conversation with the person? Especially if they tend to react defensively when you bring things like that up.

Or do you need to be the one to complain about a colleagues performance? Or would it be better to take it up with the team leader before you cause a rift between teammates?
Finally, do you really need to say that they’re not very good at that new task they just picked up last week? Or would it be better to encourage they continue practicing and that they’ll get better soon?
Or should you talk to that colleague about the incident last week now or is it possible you might be missing information? Should you wait to see what they say in the next meeting first?
In the moment, the right one of these three questions takes no more than a few seconds. However, it can help keep you from saying something you’ll regret much longer.

The 20+ funniest French expressions (and how to use them)

1. The French don’t “piss you off”… they “shit you off” (Faire chier quelqu’un).
2. The French don’t call you “idiotic”… they call you “as dumb as a broom” (Être con comme un balai).
3. The French don’t “blow you off”… they “give you the rake” (Se prendre un râteau).
4. The French don’t tell you that “they don’t care”… they tell you that “they care about it like they care about their very first shirt” (S’en foutre comme de sa première chemise).
5. The French don’t say “this is annoying me”… they say “I’m getting swollen by this” (Ça me gonfle).
6. The French don’t tell you to “leave them alone”… they tell you to “go and cook yourself an egg” (Aller se faire cuire un œuf).
7. The French don’t tell you that “you’re grumpy”… they tell you that “you’re farting sideways” (Avoir un pet de travers).
8. The French don’t “go crazy”… they “break a fuse” (Péter un plomb).
9. The French are not “bumbling”… they have “their two feet in the same clog” (Avoir les deux pieds dans le même sabot).
10. The French are not “energized”… they have “the potato” or the “French fry” (Avoir la patate/la frite).
11. The French don’t tell you “to mind your own business”… they tell you “to deal with your own onions” (Occupe-toi de tes oignons).
12. The French are not “broke”… they are “scythed like wheat fields” (Être fauché comme les blés).
13. The French are not “very lucky”… they have “as much luck as a cuckold” (Avoir une veine de cocu).
14. The French don’t say “it’s useless”… they say “it’s like pissing in a violin” (Pisser dans un violon).
15. The French are not “ungrateful”… they “spit in the soup” (Cracher dans la soupe).
16. The French don’t “fuss about something”… they “make a whole cheese about it” (En faire tout un fromage).
17. The French don’t “give someone a tongue-lashing”… they “yell at them like they’re rotten fish” (Engueuler quelqu’un comme du poisson pourri).
18. French men don’t “sleep around”… they “dip their biscuit” (Tremper son biscuit).
19. The French are not “big-headed”… they “fart higher than their ass is located” (Péter plus haut que son cul).
20. The French don’t “shup someone up”… they “nail someone’s beak” (Clouer le bec de quelqu’un).
21. The French are not “tired”… they have their head up their ass (Avoir la tête dans le cul).
22. The French do not speak of something “out of the blue”… they speak of something “that has nothing to do with sauerkraut” (Ca n’a rien à voir avec la choucroute).